Booze Reviews: Tsingtao Beer

Tsingtao has been around. It's the best selling beer in China and has been brewed there for something like 107 years. Well...I think it needs more work. I wouldn't go so far as to describe it as skunky ass-water but some have. I don't taste the ass per se but that may be my under-developed palate or because this beer is so fucking bitter that nothing else is able to sneak past. To be fair I've heard this beer tastes better on tap.....if you're in China.

Maybe it used to be better. According to wikipedia, after the People's Republic of China was installed, the Tsingtao brewery was no longer able to use imported ingredients or the the kick-ass water from the Laoshin mountains. The new government "encouraged" the peasants to take over the task of gathering those raw materials. Probably by putting a gun in their mouths and saying "Chairman Mao wants his beer and it's the people's work, bitch." This may be why Tsingtao tastes faintly of the tears of small children.

Please observe this commercial about how Tsingtao can get you hot American babes. That is, if you happen to be a murderous dictator......named Mao Tse Tung... and you're packing... but not in the good (penis) way.

So, yeah, if you want to support communism then, by all means, buy Tsingtao.

Overall Score: D+

-ryan was later attacked by what appeared to be a ninja but would like you all to know that he'd still rather be dead than red.

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