Booze Reviews: Dos Lunas Tequila – Blanco, Reposado, Anejo

Ok, I hate to do it. But I gotta call some bullshit on Dos Lunas. If Boozeblogger had an award for nicest bottle then Dos Lunas might win because they really do have some nice glass. But that's the problem. With Dos Lunas I'm afraid it's a bit too much about the image and not the tequila. Keep reading for our most presumptuous review to date, as I try and piece together the case of Dos Lunas.

We all know Patron is pretty much the king in tequila sales at the moment. It's become something like the Bud Light of tequila. If you read this blog, you also know we're not all that fond of Patron because of that reason. No, we're not trying to play the booze-hipsters here, it's just a fact: to appeal to a broader market you have to have a simpler more homogenized flavor. It's just how the market works. Patron has been brilliant with their marketing campaigns: unlike certain other companies (Cristal: we're looking at you) they have embraced both the club-culture and the Hip-Hop community.  When any brand like Patron starts making any money hand over fist you are bound to have people trying to slice off a piece of that market.

Enter Dos Lunas.

First, let me say I did not discover their website or advertising until just before writing this. What's important is what's inside the bottle. Even if they did all this crazy marketing shit none of it would matter to me if the tequila knocked my socks off.  My opinion on the booze was formed long before I started to put these pieces together.

Exhibit A.

Too $hort is a rapper Dos Lunas hired to sell their tequila and if he's willing to whore his artistry out this much I'm betting he owns about half the company.

In case you don't want to blow 4 minutes of your life on that video let me just give you some of the lyrical highlights:

"You like to party, huh? Fo Sho'
Let's go to the bar, I'm up all night like there's no tomorrow." (LKF: Too $hort was born in 1966, making him 43. I seriously doubt he's ever up past 10pm)

"I feel ya, you full of that te-kill-ya, I only drink the real stuff- (Insert a Rhyme here)
I put that on the homey Pimp C, Fuck with me she'll be horny and tipsy." (Apparently the ladies need some persuasion to get down with Too $hort and his wrinkly-anejo-balls)

And my favorite:

"They say wine is fine, but liquor is quicker. When I drink Dos Lunas, my dick gets bigger" (If this is ever proven Dos Lunas could be sold for $10,000 a bottle, easily.)

When I heard the chorus for this classic song I couldn't help but be reminded of something from my childhood: GOO PUNCH! (If you remember this show (My Brother and Me) +10 points for you.)

But what about the taste!

Ok, lets get down to brass tequila. What did we think of the flavor of these three.

Blanco:

Right up there with Patron Silver, but I'm not a big fan of Patron so this isn't really a good thing for me. Some people might really enjoy this - the people who don't want to taste their booze but like to follow brands. It smells like agave but after the nose it looses all its steam. I don't like being kicked in the face with agave but still, there's just nothing to really set this one apart from the 100 other blancos on the market. The casual drinker who imbibes mostly mixed drinks will probably be happy to make this their brand of choice - if they buy into Too $hort's brilliant salesmanship. The weirdest thing was a strange vodka-like note in the finish. Look, I don't like being the bad guy here but after tasting so many tequilas lately and seeing the depth of flavor that a lot of others have to offer I can't recommend this for anyone who's looking for something that will stand out in their drink.

Our Rating: 2 Hasselhoffs

Reposado:

Ok, this one has spent a little time in a barrel - just under a year I believe. It's showing some signs of improvement but it tastes like a lot of the same stuff that I saw in the Blanco but just mellowed out a bit more. But this Tequila didn't need anymore mellowing out. It's already quite smooth but again I'm missing the flavor that will give me a reason to tell you all its worth spending $40-50 on and I still can't find it. I like where they're going with this one and like I said it's a bit improved over the Blanco but I can't bring myself to chop Mr. Hasselhoff into a 1/4 for this one.

Our Rating: 2 Hasselhoffs

Anejo: The Anejo has a little more age than the Reposado so it's picked up a little more complexity. But its core spirit is coming from that Blanco which I still feel needed something more. I see where they're going and it's the right track. But man, I think maybe they need to tweak the original recipe and maybe focus a tad bit more on the booze than the marketing. This is a bit better than the other two though so I'll give it two and a half-elhoffs.

Our Rating: 2 1/2 Hasselhoffs

Prices: $50 - $55 - $60 respectively  www.doslunas.com

I'd like to leave you with my favorite commercial from Dos Lunas which I believe was a fan submission for a contest. Its an advertisement with a message. That message is: "If your wife won't put-out there's always alcoholism." Enjoy.