Where the hell-ass have you been!?
Okay, so I could give you a rather boring story about starting a new career which explains where I went or I could tell you an infinitely better made-up episodic story about how I was kidnapped by Captain Morgan. Which would you like? I thought so!
Part 1: Where Have You Gone To Boozeblogger?
It was a dark and stormy night...which really wasn't all that odd as it's usually fairly dark at night and you know what they say about April showers...anywho it was nearing last call at my favorite bar and I had just ordered another Long Island when out of the darkness came a flamboyantly dressed figure who dropped the name of Morgan and offered to buy my drink. A not-so-well-placed handshake (crotch-shakes I believe they're called) confirmed my suspicion that though this was indeed a kindly person, I was not in fact being hit on by a lovely lady named Morgan. Disappointed, but never one to look a gift horse (even one dressed like a pirate from the Macy's Gay Parade) in the mouth, I offered Morgan a seat and so began the strangest few weeks of my life.
Just About Like This...Except Gayer.
I awoke handcuffed to the railing of a large, rust-covered vessel with no land to be seen for miles. I had no idea how much time had passed but the salty air quickly confirmed that I was no longer in the midwest. "How long could I possibly have been out!?! That sick bastard must of slipped something into my drink!" The only indication that I wasn't alone was a black wig on the deck of the ship and the smell of cheap coconut rum which instantly brought one of my deepest, darkest fears crashing into the front of my skull: I had been been kidnapped by Admiral Fucking Nelson.
Where the Eff is his hand? Utterly Terrifying.
Booze Reviews: J. Witty Spirits – Chamomile Liqueur
Your first response upon hearing the words "Chamomile Liqueur" is probably a lot like mine, namely: "So THAT'S why grandma was always so much fun after her evening tea." No? Not really? Well maybe I just had a more interesting childhood than you did. Or maybe you need to take a second look at the forbidden pleasures of chamomile contained within J.Witty Spirits' Organic Chamomile Liqueur.
Show em' how it's done, Nana.
If I was going to attempt to make a liqueur of my own at home I think it would taste a lot like this. Something you don't know about me is that from time to time I really enjoy a nice smoke. But not just any smoke, it's got to be a clove cigarette (a vice I picked up in college.) That was the first thing that came to mind with my first taste of J. Witty's Chamomile liqueur. Somehow these flavors just make me feel at home. Not just in the strange drinking-with-grandma-way. It's the fact that my mother used to fill our home with these smells around holidays. All of these things have given me a strong affinity for any kind of spiced spirit and this one really hit the spot.
Maybe the best thing I can say is it doesn't taste like sugared-up-tea and vodka. This is not a boutique version of the now ubiquitous sweet tea vodka; this is an entirely new liqueur that combines chamomile flowers with herbs, spices, agave nectar and cane juice. From start to finish it's made in small batches with entirely organic ingredients. If I had the time (or could steal the recipe) this is exactly what I'd be making in my bathtub right now.
WE'RE GONNA BE RICH I TELL YA!
So, yeah, I like this one quite a bit. It's great by itself and it stands up well in a cocktail. My personal favorite was the Cherry Blossom which combines J.Witty, Gold Rum, Cherry Heering and Peychaud's bitters. It can be found among the 30-or-so original recipes on their website. The only bad thing about J.Witty is that since it's a small company their products aren't yet available on too many shelves (unless you're in California or Oregon). Luckily you can purchase it online and if you own a liquor shop or have the ear of someone who does, it's available for shipping to most states. Give it a shot if you get a chance. I don't think you'll be dissapointed...and if you are get ahold of me. I'll be happy to dispose of it for you.
Our Grade: ***** (Highest Recommendation) Price: $24 www.jwittyspirits.com
Nightcaps: The Twentieth Century Cocktail
This one is something of a classic. By "a classic" I mean its a really old cocktail that most people have forgotten. It first appeared in 1937 in the Cafe Royal Cocktail Book. The book was put together by the United Kingdom Bartenders Guild and contains some of the earliest recipes for vodka and tequila cocktails. In print the original has become almost impossible to find. Luckily it's been preserved in a PDF format which you can find here.
Like a lot of older cocktails the back story seems to have gotten jumbled over the years. According to Wikipedia it was: "created in 1939 in connection with the introduction of the new streamlined Dreyfus Hudson Engine which began pulling the Twentieth Century Limited train between New York City and Chicago in 1938." Now since the cocktail appears in the 1937 publication of Cafe Royal's cocktail book it seems the almighty power of Wikipedia has failed us.
The drink itself tastes like lemon cake with a light bit of chocolate frosting. I recently purchased a strange german, lemon pound-cake which happened to be dipped in chocolate and it tasted almost exactly the same, except less soggy and boozy. Most of the ingredients you'll probably have on hand. The only one that is uncommon is Lillet Blanc. Lillet is made from a blend of white wines, herbs and fruit (mostly citrus from the taste of it). It goes for about $25 a bottle, but if you're using it for cocktails it lasts quite awhile so it balances out. A lot of people actually drink it by itself.
Twentieth Century Cocktail
1 1/2 oz Gin
3/4 oz Lillet Blanc
1/2 oz Creme de Cacao
3/4 oz Lemon juice
Since this one includes fruit juice, feel free to pour all these together with some ice and then shake the hell out of them. I'm personally fond of this cocktail because it finds a use for Creme de Cacao which I'm always looking for more excuses to use. Let me know what you think.
Beer Monday: Woodchuck Spring Cider
Yes, I know this isn't beer. Maybe I should call this "Bottle Monday." Or maybe you just should stop being such a judgmental ...faithful reader whom I love so very much.
So it seems we're starting a trend here with the spring releases. I'm fine with that, even though so far I've been disappointed with the seasonal blends....plus I just figured out that a Woodchuck is just another name for a Groundhog...this does not bode well. Want to know the best part of my job? No matter how bad this brew might be, I'm still finding an excuse to drink before noon. WINNING! (Keep reading and I promise never to quote Charlie Sheen again.)
Last year, Woodchuck tried to pull the old "Blue-Moon Switcheroo" on us by playing it safe and making a Spring Cider with the “...crispness of the Granny Smith apple with a complimentary balance of honey.” To some of you that sounds like a nice change, to me it sounds like pussing out. Yes, you can get Americans to buy just about anything by slapping a "NEW" sticker on it and not-so-subtly saying "BUY THIS QUICKLY OR YOU WILL NEVER HAVE SEX AGAIN!" But that doesn't mean you don't have to romance me a bit.
What the hell would Bud Light do without Boobs?
This particular release is a litte more ballsy, but not by much. They've added maple syrup and brown sugar, which is a welcome change from the few drops of honey they added last year, but its also remarkably close to their fall cider (which is one of my favorites). I'm torn because I REALLY like the Fall variety, but at the same time if a cider very close to this one equals fall and this is spring....what month is it again?
It is actually legal for people who do not know who Marty McFly is to drink...that's scary.
NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE, DOC! Instead of creating a new spring blend Woodchuck put an inter-dimensional time-tunnel in each and every bottle. Instantly transporting us BACK TO THE FUTURE...or to October which is in the past and....Damn, that title never made sense did it? I suppose "INTO THE PAST (For A Brief Visit To Make Out With My Mom) Before Going BACK TO THE FUTURE" was too long.
The Italian restaurant across from me has a customer who drives a Delorean in once a week to get his Linguine. No Joke.
Whether you make out with YOUR MOM or not. Woodchuck's Spring Cider is good enough to hold you over until we get back to the delicious fall variety and since I don't have to drink this one in the snow (knock on woodchuck) it's actually a pretty fair trade off. Either way it's a huge improvement over last year. Good going you bastardly spring-stealing rodent.
Our Rating: *** (3 out of 5 - Recommended) Price: $7-8 (for a 6-pack) www.woodchuck.com
Beer Monday: Blue Moon Spring Blonde Wheat Ale
Well it's spring...or is it? The weather would have you believe we've all been transported back in time several months, but according to "the google" we're actually still a week away. Anyway, I've decided to give that asshole Punxsutawny Phil and his "spring is near" prediction a pass this year because I realize that his magical-gopher-powers may have accidentally locked on to the release of Blue Moon's Spring Ale - an understandable mistake. If not for that recent discovery in my local grocery beer-case things might have gone differently for Phil...
Time to meet your maker....PHIL.
So, like every other season, Spring is going to bring us a new glut of seasonal brews. I'm all for this because I enjoy the variety and because I can't help but squeal at the sight of anything with a shiny "New" sticker. At the same time you've got to at least pretend to add some extra exotic spice or fruit that I can't pronounce if you want to keep me interested. At least go that extra mile and try to fool me into believing that there's a reason I should by two six packs this week just so I can taste the moroccan vanilla you added to your ale which is harvested by orangutan virgins dressed like Mother Teresa.
Apparently Blue Moon didn't get the memo about my love of primates in drag. Their Spring Blonde Wheat Ale boast a spring-like picture on the label and (hold on to your butts) it's brewed with not just orange peel but lemon peel as well! Stop the WordPresses folks! We may just have a "beervolution" happening here. Except for the fact that everyone already puts citrus in their Blue Moon. Except that, when you have a giant slice of orange in your glass of beer already, you're not going to be able to taste the hints of orange and lemon peel present in this seasonal variety. In other words, Blue Moon's Spring Blonde Wheat Ale tastes exactly like regular blue moon and there's really no reason to switch it up. Unless you're a consumer whore like myself and you just can't resist that NEW green label. In which case, more power to you.
Our Grade: *** (Blue Moon is 3 1/2 to 4 stars in my book but I'm a little hurt.)
Hello, My name is Mr. Badass
Richard Patterson was just named "Whisky Ambassador of the Year" by Whisky Magazine. I'm sure you care about as much as he does, but this picture is pretty awesome.
Press Release after the jump...like you care.
Richard Paterson is Named Whisky Ambassador of the Year
Whyte & Mackay Master Blender, Richard Paterson has been named ‘Whisky Ambassador of the Year’ at Whisky Magazine’s Icons of Whisky Awards.
Last year, Richard celebrated 40 years in the whisky industry and the award recognises his service to not only to Whyte & Mackay but to his continual efforts to promote whisky all over the globe, in the fun and engaging manner that has earned him a legion of fans.
Richard said of the award: “It’s an honour to receive this award from Whisky Magazine and it means a great deal to me that my fellow whisky peers respect the work I am doing. Over the last 40 years I have had the privilege to work in the whisky industry and travel the world over meeting many many whisky enthusiasts. I have created some very special whiskies along the way including the first whisky to break the £100,000 barrier and just recently I got to sample the Shackleton whisky which has to be one of the greatest highpoints of my career.”
He continued: “I am delighted to achieve this award for a job I genuinely find a pleasure to do.”
Reviews: Chocolate Malts
So you think you know Scotch eh, laddie? You've traveled the Highlands, the Lowlands, Islay, Speyside and even spent 4 years in the halls of Bayside. But have you ever been to...Wichita, Kansas? I DIDN'T THINK SO! Lucky for you, Boozeblogger is always on the trail of the latest in booze-related happenings! Chocolate-Malts.com hit the web last year as a made-to-order Scotch Truffle Confectionery. We got our hands on some from each of the four regions, a few weeks ago - just for you.
Like all great ideas, Chocolate-Malts started over a bottle of Scotch. If you've been drinking Scotch for any length of time you've probably already discovered that it pairs well with equally powerful flavors, like chocolate. The folks at the Witchita Whisk(e)y Club had been enjoying the pairing for some time before founding member Ryan Zink and his wife Sarah Zink, hit on the idea to turn their love of scotch-infused truffles into a small online business.
They may be a small operation (for the time being) but that says nothing about the quality you can expect from Chocolate Malts. As you can see on the sheet that came with my Chocolate Malts, each batch comes with a handwritten note of when your truffles were made and a full-color guide to the malts within. Since there are no preservatives, they'll last at least 30 days when properly stored and I imagine much longer if frozen.
So what's the verdict? First let me say, that none of these are bad. I didn't taste even one truffle that would disappoint. As far as I'm concerned, you really can't go wrong with scotch and chocolate. With that said, I think the level of scotch in each truffle could stand to be increased a bit. I've never made truffles myself but I imagine there is some difficulty in balancing the consistency of the ganache and the whisky. Still, since they are trying to make separate truffles for specific brands of scotch, I think aiming for retention of as much of the unique flavor each brand offers as possible would be a good move. The stronger, smokier whiskys, like the Laphroig 10 year, stood out a lot better than the Glenfiddich truffle whose flavors were somewhat muted by the chocolate ganache. On the other hand, anyone who receives a box of truffles from Chocolate Malts, made from their favorite scotch, is definitely not going to complain; not at all. If I were you I'd go get myself a box right now, which I may have to do, because mine are all gone.
Our Rating: **** (Great Product - Highly Recommended) Price: $25 for 16 truffles. www.chocolate-malts.com
Nightcaps: Blue Tuesday
So, according to "The Dictonary" (a large collection of words nobody uses anymore) a nightcap is an alcoholic beverage imbibed before bed - usually of the harder booze-variety. Here at Boozeblogger it just means whatever we're drinking tonight. This evening a certain bottle of gin called Beefeater 24 was looking at me that special way. So I decided to take it for a spin...
Beefeater 24 is an offshoot of the classic Beefeater gin which aims for the super-premium and craft cocktail markets. A look at the cocktails on their website confirms that they're angling for the kind of top-shelf drinks that can only be made in a very well-stocked bar. A lot of them are made with a base of Beefeater 24 steeped with different teas which I find intriguing. Sadly I don't have any of those teas on hand, nor do I have any fresh coriander, rhubarb bitters, or homemade orange and ginger marmalade for the other cocktails. So I had to see what else I had on hand...
Perfect Puree of Napa Valley produces some very cool products that attempt to blur the line between freshness and convenience. What they offer is specially made blends of the freshest ingredients formulated to be the perfect companion to your cocktails. What it offered me tonight is the ability to add some real depth to a new cocktail without the effort of juicing six different fruits. The particular blend I used (Yuzu Luxe Sour) contains meyer lemon juice, key lime, tangerine, karrif lime leaf, lemon grass, and Yuzu Juice (Yuzu is like a smaller, Japanese grapefruit).
For tonight's nightcap, I wanted to highlight the Beefeater 24 without having to make a special trip to the store for this one drink. The Yuze Luxe Sour was a great companion to the gin which can sometimes feel overpowering in cocktails. To garnish I used some not-so-fresh-but-still-wild blueberries which went surprisingly well with the drink. Since the fruit juice is already cloudy all you really need to do is throw these ingredients into your shaker for awhile and pour. Here's the recipe:
The Blue Tuesday:
2 oz Yuze Luxe Sour from Perfect Puree
1 1/2 oz Beefeater 24
Garnish with 5-6 blueberries
If you have the stuff and make this...or if it sounds good...or if you just want to write nasty words on my blog...please, feel free to leave a comment or two.
Just add hookers and blow. 
Review: Newcastle DraughtKeg
If you've been drinking beer for any length of time you've discovered that your favorite brew is always just a bit better when you get it on tap. But unless you live above a bar (I have a very lucky friend who actually does) then getting a drink of your favorite at its best is never quite as easy as walking to your fridge. Enter DraughtKeg, which promises to make all your "I wish my fridge had beer on tap dreams" come true.
You might say the Draught Keg goes both ways.
The infamous Pope-basher, Protestsant Reformer, and heavy drinker; Martin Luther, once said that "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." If the 5 liter kegs from the good people at DraughtKeg aren't proof of a loving God then I don't know what is. As far as I know they are currently only producing Draught Kegs for NewCastle and Heiniken, but that list should grow in the future. Their kegs pair with a device called a Beertender which keeps your mini-keg cold and dispenses it in style. They're around $100 and fairly stylish if you're into that sort of thing. Luckily the DraughtKeg does NOT require a Beertender to work.
You've probably seen a lot of other mini-kegs in stores lately. At first glance they look like the same product. The reality is that the DraughtKeg is completely different in that it contains an internal pressurization device (which sounds just like that thing in a can of spray paint) that keeps the beer fresh, carbonated, and properly pumping for up to 30 days. You'll notice that all the other kegs have their spouts at the bottom. So what you're really paying for is a big metal thing emblazoned with a brand that someone attached a spicket to. The DraughtKeg, on the other hand, pumps directly from the top just like a real keg. (Note: You don't actually have to pump it.)
What about the beer? Significantly better than the bottle, I say. The flavor is smoother and creamier than any bottle of Newcastle I've had. It's cheaper too. When measured by the pint you're paying about $2.18 each. It'll run you slightly more vs. the rate on a 6 pack, but it also takes up less room. Bottom line. I'm a fan and I want you to go buy this, so eventually we can have all our favorite beers sold this way. Ok? Thanks.
Our Rating: **** (Highly Recommended) Price: MSRP $22.99 (but can be found much cheaper)