Beer Review: Arctic Panzer Wolf

Let’s face it, our society can’t last much longer, look around you and observe the great hedonistic consumption machine that is America.  If I’m right and the apocalypse is upon us then we're really only going to need one thing.  Beer.  We have to be realistic here, not just any beer will do in a dystopian-big brother-future run entirely by zombies, we need a beer of epic proportions, we need ARCTIC PANZER WOLF.  As Mao Zedong once said “There is great disorder under heaven, the situation is excellent.”  The situation is indeed excellent if you can sip on a great bottle of Three Floyds Arctic Panzer Wolf while watching Zardoz drop guns on the barbarian hordes.

Three Floyds is infamous for pumping out extraordinary beers and Arctic Panzer Wolf is no exception.  Arctic Panzer Wolf is an intense explosion of citrus, pine, sweet malt, and hops!  This beer pours out a decently thick head, maybe a half of an inch, but it disappears quickly (probably within the first few minutes, so enjoy it while it lasts.)  The beer has a nice orange/brown color with a little bit of haze floating through.  Upon first whiff, your nose will be overpowered with hops and pine!  The taste follows nicely with the smell, the hops sort of fade into the citrus and the malt, for being a Three Floyds beer it didn’t have an overly hoppy taste to it.  Some of the more hoppy beers out there often over power the taste, but APW hits you mostly at the finish and then lingers a bit in the after taste.  The mouth feel may have been my favorite part; APW is a dry beer with a great amount of carbonation.

Overall, Arctic Panzer Wolf is great on a hot day when you’re trying to outrun the flesh eating zombie communist hordes who want to procreate with your sister…or on any other just regular day.

Our Rating: 5/5 (Highest Recommendation)  Check it out at: www.3floyds.com

Booze Reviews: Three Floyds’ Gumball Head

Three Floyds is a brewery that's been pumping out amazing beer since 1996. After 15 years of brewing they're kind of a big deal. “How Big?” you may ask. Well, their “Dark Lord' brew is widely regarded as one of the best beers in the world, is only available one day of the year, and is instantly resold at a premium by beer-scalping-pirates. I've not had it, but I'm considering selling my firstborn and using the proceeds to buy a case.

Anyway, I had occasion to visit their brewpub in Munster, Indiana not too long ago and I was not disappointed. The food was great, sure, but the beer was fantastic.The first beer I had was their Gumballhead, which is an American Wheat Ale that Three Floyds with the goal of making an American Wheat Ale that “doesn't suck.”. It was unlike any wheat ale I've ever had before. Namely, because of the hops. With a wheat beer, what you typically expect is a light malty flavor, sometimes with some fruit and occasionally (if you're into Belgian Ales) some living yeast flavors (which tends to add a kind of banana-esque flavor to the beer).

You don't usually expect the sweet citrus and bitterness that comes from an excess of hoppage in a wheat beer. But holy shit do the Floyd boys love their hops. I don't believe I have ever experienced a beer this hoppy before with the exception of a homebrewed Pale Ale my uncle gave me (and to be fair, that was a fucking hoppy beer). If your personal "Good Wheat Beer Equation" is: Good Wheat + Hops = AWESOME WHEAT BEER then you'll love Gumballhead.

He's totally gonna fuck that beer when you stop looking.

Their website says that the Gumball Head has grapefruit, lemon zest, marmalade, and peach, but all I was able to taste was the grapefruit and peach. Actually there was a fairly low bitterness for as many hops as were in it, which was definitely not what I was expecting from an extraordinarily hoppy beer. This can be said for almost any of the beers made by Three Floyds: if hops aren't your thing, then stay the fuck away. You might die. Seriously. Bottom line? It's a wheat ale that doesn't suck. Huzzah!

Our Rating: **** out of 5  (Buy It If You See It)    www.3floyds.com